Hopes and Fears

So this post is a little reflection on my last year of University and what I hope and fear for myself in the very near future. It's good to have a little plan, some guidelines of where I want to be and to remember there are many ways of getting there, not to be disheartened if one of the paths leads to a dead end.

So mainly I want my work to feature in everyday lives. When I find a product that feel like an extension of myself and I get to see it everyday, it might sound materialistic but it makes me happy, to be able to design my space and I get a little itchy footed if I can't. So searching for a specific thing can take time or it doesn't even exist. I then started to make these things for myself or draw designs up. For my future career this is what I would love to do, working with interior designers or homewear brands to make fantastic feature pieces, avoiding kitsch and throwaway fashion.

A big thing for me is keeping things minimalist and less wasteful. We have the luxury and disposable income to buy 'stuff' and it's very easy to fall into the consumerist trap and buy buy buy. The last fashions no longer in so you buy the new thing, it costs alot and it's harmful to the environment. I believe in investing in something you love, that is fairtrade, handmade and going to last you a very long time, products that reflect oneself opposed to whats 'in'.

I think for the next few months I'm going to carry on with my waitressing job and look for internships, It sounds funny but I don't feel ready to go for a full design job just yet, I'm still eager to learn and want to have a go at a few different things and see what different companies feel like and where I fit in with those. So mainly I will be going for, set design, homewear and fashion. Potentially setting up a stall alongside my website to sell prints and handmade homewear. I'm in love with my brand I made, Knots, it's staying with me and its the best reflection for my work that I have come up with thus far. It's a little difficult also because I am travelling in January with an open ticket so I can't get too settled anywhere just yet! While I travel I hope to contact design houses and just spend a few days there, even if I'm just making cuppas.

The best thing I've taught myself over my degree is to take something from everything that inspires you and put it into your work, all your loves, fears and your past, what you've built to get where you are today.

I've had a massive fear of opening up with art, and lately I've thrown caution to the wind and posted some poetry.. let's just say I felt like I was walking down the street naked. This tapping into the place where you feel most exposed has helped my work improve massivley, I want people to look at it and want to understand more, or to change a perception. I am scared of the classics, rejection, people thinking I'm not good enough, and not working hard enough, because I feel that's the worst regret. Plus a fear that no one shares my tastes and they don't want to buy my stuff!

Thanks for reading my long post and letting me share with you how a graduating illustrator feels about her future.

I'll end with this little piece of gold I found, every time I feel I'm losing my grip  with what I create or hit a blank page wall I listen to this. One of my favorite writers, and one of my favorite speeches.